I'm so bored I could die

Like, literally*.

*Obviously not literally, but figuratively.

Boyfriends make your headache go away*

* the ones that were not caused by them

I got a boyfriend a mere 4 days after the latest post, so I really didn't miss that fella that much after all... But you know, one thing followed an other and I just simply did not want to spend more days crying after someone who does not do the same for me. So Dutch boyfriend it is!

And ever since that, my mind is mainly occupied with two things
1. Dutch boyfriend
2. My recently started running regime

But mainly the first one, really.

Ever since I was a little girl (looong before my years of slut**) I am having severe headaches. Usually they go away with some ibuprofen or other OTC drugs in a matter of a few hours but it wasn't the case this time around. I've been living with my annoying headache for the past two days non-stop. Nothing seemed to help, and I tried everything: plenty of fluids, moderate exercise, healthy meals, C-vitamin, bed rest, 600 mg of ibuprofen. But then tonight boyfriend picked me up for a quick dinner before he headed out to boy's night. And this short but sweet rendezvous just made my headache vanish.

And it actually makes sense if I think about it. When I was a little girl the presence and the voice of my mum or my older sister always helped with easing whatever pain I had. So I guess love can really take you pain away.

**they weren't that bad...

How to be happy being single

Exercise DUH! Go out with your friends...DUUUUUHHH! Never google 'how to be happy being single' because no article will give you better advises than the usual feel-good crap. I know I should hit the gym and be with my friends and I do that, too, but how about the evenings? My friends have a life too. And what I want is to cuddle with a cutie and go to the beach and have grilled fish with French fries and side salad and walk on the boulevard and take the tram back and make out all the way (this actually never happened) and then make out on his couch (which I'm not gonna set on fire despite the common belief) and then make the way to his bed and sleep with him and wake up next to him and then stare at the beautiful bell tower where they switch the lights off at 3 am and switch back on at 6. And you simple can't do this with a friend or alone. These specific events can only be done with one certain gentleman anyways, but too late for that I'm afraid.

He wants to be friends. I mean I am fine with that as long as we do couple-y things and make out in public and have sex on a regular base. But I suppose that is not the kind of friendship he imagined, and as Samantha once told Miranda when she said they were just friends with Steve: "We are just friends. I don't put my dick in you." So friendship is no option.

So fuck this shit.

I miss him.

Don't die on me

I've always had this strange fear that the guys I was dating would suddenly die and would never call me again. It would be a really hostile situation: would I attend his funeral? What would I tell his parents when they asked me how I had known their son? Well, we went out four times already and slept together once. I'm cherishing nice memories of his face in the dim lit cinema while watching frames of "Let's Be Cops" reflecting in his gorgeous green eyes.

Marta (not Stewart) [notice the lack of 'h']

After Scotsman not answering my text for almost 24 hours (okay, he is right, it was more like 16) but then invited me over for a little late night special I got furious. I just finished dinner at my friend's place (jeeeeesus, melted Camembert is so effing good) and was watching Holland's Got Talent when he decided he didn't want to go out and wanted me to come over instead. I was furious, but I wanted to go so I made my way till his place in the pouring rain, brought some wine that has never been opened during the night (not that I needed any more, I was comfortably tipsy and swearing in Hungarian on my way there) and pushed it into his hands saying "Put it in the fridge!" instead of kissing him. Classy, I know.

He got it. Something was wrong. It was not the wine talking, but the it definitely helped me, so I confronted him finally. It is not okay to ignore someone's text. If you want something casual and see other people than please do so, but stop seeing me. I know I looked and sounded like a crazy person, but he listened. He said sorry. He said he has never really showed his emotions openly. And he agrees that texting after 24 hours (all right, 16!) is wrong so he'll change that. The next morning I made sure he knew I meant every word despite the wine.

But I just don't trust him, I can't. Also, Marta texted him in the morning (once you start to check other people's phone you'll find it hard to stop) hoping he did not get lost (I wonder what lie he told her) and saying it was way too hot to do anything where she was. That is definitely not Holland coz I'm feeling kinda cold under the duvet.*

He made me breakfast, but cereals and yogurt don't make me trust him.

Whatevs. I'm meeting Dutchman tonight.

* That's a word he taught me.

Confrontation gone awry

I was determined: Tonight I am going to confront gentle kisser Scotsman about his lousy texting habits. I am going to tell him to step up his game or let's forget the whole thing all together, because I need the attention and I go cray cray when I don't get it.

I got there, he kissed me, I simply could not bring myself to say the words. I also wanted to ask him about us, but I could not, I didn't dare to. I tried the trick learnt from David Rosen: ('It is good' 'What is good?' 'Us. This is good.'). He agreed, but that was it. He hugged me, he held me so tight. I just did not wan to ruin it with stupid overly attached questions. So we slept, he left to work and I went all 'SATC The Freak Show' in his place. Checked for stuff that possibly belong to a female in the bathroom, the number of dishes washed in the kitchen and lost underwear in the bedroom. Did not find anything. Counted the condoms, 9 pieces left in a box of twelve. All good. (Unless he had sex with 12 other times in the meanwhile and it's a new box.)

Made the bed, washed the dishes we used for dinner and left. He hasn't texted since.

Cray cray.

Horoscopes and Tinder

I heard that the horoscopes on Elle.com are hauntingly accurate. I have always been a skeptic, most of the time I just wished what they were telling would come true as I was promised to find the one every other week. But today, today I have had a different experience:

Not every Tinder date or casual crush has to evolve into a lifelong love affair. 

This sentence is everything. This sentence is exactly what I needed, this sentence is what my thoughts have been lately, this sentence makes me feel good about myself and a bit better about those bunch of losers I came across on Tinder. I do not know how the writer of this horoscope knew not only that I am on Tinder, but that I have met a guy the same night I downloaded the app, met him in person the day after and been crazy about him ever since. Everyone, meet Gentle Kisser Scotsman who is - not surprisingly - a little bit of an asshole. (if you read it, GKS, I am sorry, but you really are. Read on.)

 I have known him for 3 weeks now, had 4 dreamy dates and obsessed about him all the time. The thing is, he is just not that into me. It is harsh and hard to admit, but that's just how it is. HE IS NOT THAT INTO ME. He texts, but then he does not for days. He meets me and says things like he had good fun and he is glad I spent the evening with him and he asks for reassurance that we would meet again soon, but then he just disappears, no texts.

Not to me at least. Because the WhatsApp stalker I am, I religiously check when he was last online and he is online a LOT. And I know it for a fact that he is not talking to his mum or his friends all the time. Okay, I do not know it for a fact, but my guts tell me and Olivia Pope's guts are never wrong. (The fact that I am not Olivia Pope because I could never pull flared pants off like she does is beside the point) And when I am so miserable that I cannot contain myself anymore I text him and he just acts like nothing happened. And then if I wait long enough (like 5 days) he texts again. Like it's totally acceptable to not text for 5 days and then text like nothing happened. No, Gentle Kisser Scotsman, it is not okay!

Let me tell you something, I HATE to text a guy first in this early period. I think a guy should do it and do it often. I am not saying all day or not even every single day but an occasional good morning or how was you day would not hurt. It would make me feel wanted and the attention.

So here I am, obsessing about a guy who has me behaving like an eager schoolgirl, getting a message from the universe that he probably isn't the love of my life.

But I like him so much.